A bit of balance would be very welcome in our lives right now.
Well 2015 does seem to be getting off to a bad start. We could really do with things getting back to normal pretty soon.
Not only did I start the year with a job loss, so have almost no money coming in, this was shortly followed by the terrible massacres in Paris (and even round here the gendarmes are now armed with sub-machine guns, which is hardly a comforting sight), then the death of a close friend, and then by some upset in a couple of groups of which I’m a member. Someone also reversed into our car while we were parked.
Hopefully these things will all blow over, but it feels almost like there was a shiver in the ether or something. I am keen for things to get back to normal.
The death of our friend and colleague Steve Gold, in particular, has thrown us into not only grief but a mid-life crisis. The other day, the DH and I sat down and decided to make strong efforts to achieve more happiness in our lives. In his case, that means film-making and electronics; in mine it means more sewing and beading. And for both of us it means getting out more and feeling as if we really live in France, rather than just in our house. Beautiful though it is, it could be anywhere – Scotland or Wales – and if one doesn’t make the trips to the bakery and the café and the patisserie, some very pleasant aspects of French life go by the board.
In the interests of achieving some peace and quiet psychologically, I am also progressing in my Zen Den. The daybed has arrived, which replaces the old double bed, and it has been furnished with a nice mattress and lots of cushions. I’ve installed some lovely Diptyque candles, a little Zen garden, my singing bowl and runes, lots of light in the shape of SAD lightboxes, daylight-balanced fluorescents and softer lighting for evening. There’s room for my yoga mat to go down without having to move anything, and the animals, much as I love them, can be shut out. (As anyone who’s tried to do yoga with cats or dogs around will know, they do tend you ‘help you out’ in distinctly unhelpful ways…). My plan now is to sell our old Renault to pay for a huge cupboard to be built in.
The other night I had one of my white menopausal nights and came down at about 4.00am. Instead of sitting in our vast living room, I went and snuggled up in the Zen Den under a quilt and read a 1920s book of household tips until I felt sleepy again. It was lovely to have this quiet, white retreat with no fear of disturbance and I think it will be a haven in the coming months.