Knicker tips for the clueless

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Peter Jones has set up a men-only section in its lingerie department to help the guys sort the boyshorts from the thongs.

Did you know that every major lingerie range brings out a black and red bra for Christmas?

No, neither did I. 

The customers they’re aiming at, apparently, are clueless men, who at this time of year, high-tail it to the department stores at the last minute to get something for the wife or girlfriend. 

A red bra, points out Peter Jones saleswoman in this promo video on the Guardian site, will be worn by very few women, as it’s not a practical colour.

I must be an exception here, though, because most of my bras are brightly coloured. Living, as I do, a rather grubby life, constantly covered in mud, soot and dog hair, my outer clothes all have to be dark or they’re completely ruined in five minutes. I pretty much live in black, chocolate brown, khaki and various shades of taupe, beige and denim blue.

But to make up for it, my bra drawer is zinging, with bras in red, yellow, green, coral, shocking pink, black, white, lemon, sugar pink and lilac. They all go perfectly well under a black t-shirt, if you ask me – a white blouse is something in my dim and distant past…

The Guardian video highlights the Peter Jones department store, which has set up a men-only section this Christmas, where – it is hoped – men will not feel intimidated and can get some advice. The saleswoman featured says men get three things wrong:

* Size

* Colour

* Level of sleaze. 

So here’s a clue, guys: crotchless knickers, boned basques, Santa Outfits and knickers with cartoon characters aren’t generally women’s cup of tea.

She then adds several tips:

* Look in your partner’s undie drawer to get an idea of what colour she normally wears.

* Think about what style of undies she – as opposed to you – likes.

* Think about her skin tone. 

* Know her size.

Happy shopping, fellas. Still one day left to get it right. 


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