Plumping up your G-spot – G-shot gives multiple orgasms to every woman

Is having all-day orgasms really what women want?

Although it’s apparently been available in the US for some years now, in the UK a woman named Caroline Cushworth recently became the first British woman to have the ‘orgasm jab’, also known as the G-shot.

The treatment involves injecting collagen straight into the G-spot and works something like a lip-plumper, according to an article in the Daily Mail. The result, says Cushworth, was "constant multiple orgasms which went on for hours".

Hmmn. Personally, I’m not sure how much I’d fancy that.

Aside from the question of whether the G-spot even exists (some say yes, some say no, and to be fair, Cushworth wasn’t a former believer), wouldn’t having orgasms that lay you out flat for hours rather interfere with other things – like, you know, life? You might as well be off your face on smack all day. (Which reminds me of Denis Leary’s comment about crack: "Only in America would there be someone that cocaine wasn’t a good enough drug for…")

I notice another thing, too, in passing, as a dyed-in-the-wool feminist. Cushworth is 41 and her partner is 27, which makes me wonder if there isn’t something else at play here – something to do with wanting to keep a younger lover interested, rather than with being comfortable with your sexuality. After all, the ‘good’ woman, inside a couple of generations, has gone from the woman who didn’t want sex at all to the equally unrealistic vixen who can’t get enough and is always up for it. Both are patriarchal ideas and have little to do with real women, who span the complete spectrum.

Sex is one of those thorny issues in life that we have unrealistic expectations of (along with love, kids, work, blokes etc…). Even in this theoretically sexually liberated age, the truth is that a lot of women don’t have orgasms easily and some don’t have them at all. Some only have orgasms with certain partners, and most can only have them when they’re relaxed, because orgasm happens in the brain, not the body, and the brain has to be in the right place. (I just loved, by the way, the Spanish survey that showed that women enjoyed sex more in direct proportion to how much housework their husbands did – fellas, if you want to get laid, do the washing up.)

Your body does play a role, of course, and that’s why many women don’t have orgasms until after pregnancy, or after childbirth, or after menopause. A lot of it depends on your hormones, as well as your level of fitness, along with cultural and emotional issues. And yet many women who are inorgastic still enjoy having sex – orgasms or no orgasms.

It might be a dumb question to ask men, since they are so happy to associate the one thing with the other, but I think most women would understand it – are orgasms really what sex (as in intercourse) is about? If you want an orgasm, after all, you can masturbate and get it over with before the kettle boils – there’s no need for a partner at all. But if – as it is for many women – sexual intercourse is something different, something about communication and intimacy, then orgasms may be the icing on the cake but not necessary to the cake itself.

The fact is, you can have great sex without orgasms – warm, connected, intimate, fun sex. And you can have poxy sex with them – sex that makes you feel rubbish afterwards, not connected to your partner, not comfortable with yourself. What strikes me as more important about sex than having one, two or 20 orgasms is simply that you should enjoy having it, whatever form it takes.

If you prefer the x-rated version, of course, it’s going to cost you (and a lot more than a set of vibrator batteries). Cushworth’s G-shot was performed by Professor PKW Dartey of the UK Laser Vaginal Rejuvenation Centre in Harley Street, London, whom the Daily Mail describes as a ‘cosmetic gynaecologist’ (now, don’t get me started…). The procedure is said to be painless, except for the wallet – it costs £800, and last only four months, so if you want to stay flat on your back all year you’ll have to shell out £2,400.

However, Mr Dartey clearly has at least one satisfied customer. Cushworth is so happy with the results, she says, that she’s already booked in to have a top-up treatment and says she’ll carry on having the jab indefinitely. "I’ll treat it in the same way as I do getting my hair cut or my highlights done," she says.

£2,400 a year? Guess she goes to a good hairdresser then…. 🙂 Tel: 020 8232 5452.

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